Oui oui, huh huh! Et bonjour! I am zee French bulldog! I am not like zee English bulldog, non non! English bulldog is — how you say? — big and slow. Zey have big heads and — what is zee word eeeeh — slobbery mouth! Zey eat too many fish and chips, huh huh! Me, I am cute. People, zey all love me.

I am also not like zee — how you say? — American bulldog. American bulldog he spend his whole life working. I am French, vee do not see zee point of the working so much. No no! Vee drink zee wine and eat zee cheese and have the fun!

Some people call me zee “toy bulldog.” HA! “Toy bulldog,” you say? I spit on zis. Could a toy bulldog do zis? You see zat? I blow zee smoke rings in perfect circle.

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