Do I look like a cat to you boy? Am I jumpin’ around all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree?
Hey, wait, that actually is a cat. And he doesn’t seem too amused. Figures. Don’t you think a cat would make the perfect hard-ass cop? He’d be a police commissioner’s dream, doing everything by the book. Plus he’d be constantly power tripping, twirling his baton, calling everyone “boy,” and making you think you’re going to the clink over some petty jaywalking infraction.

A dog would be too chill to be a cop. He might pull you over for speeding, but then he’d be like, “Look I was young once too — just keep it under 85. Ruff!” But not a cat. No way. It’s in his DNA. You stop laughing right meow!

You can buy this t-shirt from headlineshirts.net